Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
