Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
