Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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