my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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