Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
