Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
