just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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