i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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