so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I AM VODKA MAN
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
