So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
