Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I forget how to act sober
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