I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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