If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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