If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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