everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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