I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize