I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
