We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
