I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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