Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize