Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
