guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
