I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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