Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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