Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
