Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?

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  (727): she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no? http://tfl.nu/lc3u
  Replies (39) Good night (6987) Bad night (628)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i will never coherently bang her

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  (207): i will never coherently bang her http://tfl.nu/z0d8
  Replies (6) Good night (830) Bad night (3157)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook

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  (205): Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook http://tfl.nu/0mxm
  Replies (24) Good night (3858) Bad night (715)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.

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  (405): She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade. http://tfl.nu/j0qu
  Replies (65) Good night (3505) Bad night (6640)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?

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  (571): What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song? http://tfl.nu/zr38
  Replies (26) Good night (3297) Bad night (1087)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  you inspire me to be a worse person

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  (360): you inspire me to be a worse person http://tfl.nu/en33
  Replies (6) Good night (3456) Bad night (1241)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret

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  (613): Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret http://tfl.nu/ksru
  Replies (53) Good night (1572) Bad night (2469)
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  (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.

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  (867): Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now. http://tfl.nu/u52e
  Replies (9) Good night (982) Bad night (2134)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

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  (720): Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated. http://tfl.nu/fo7q
  Replies (4) Good night (1555) Bad night (674)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.

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  (757): he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore. http://tfl.nu/szvz
  Replies (7) Good night (822) Bad night (2505)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.

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  (816): My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest. http://tfl.nu/ifrd
  Replies (8) Good night (307) Bad night (687)
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  (714): View more from California

  HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again

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  (714): HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again http://tfl.nu/hogt
  Replies (0) Good night (520) Bad night (271)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.

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  (860): And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping. http://tfl.nu/jid6
  Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (514)
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  (562): View more from California

  I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell

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  (562): I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell http://tfl.nu/v6x7
  Replies (0) Good night (247) Bad night (425)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon

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  (613): I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon http://tfl.nu/93lu
  Replies (2) Good night (581) Bad night (224)

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