Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh

(513): View more from Ohio

is this your pickup line?

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(304): my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh (513): is this your pickup line? http://tfl.nu/r4ba

Replies (20) Good night (879) Bad night (5376)
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(760): View more from California

For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".

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(760): For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad". http://tfl.nu/gpn1

Replies (12) Good night (3939) Bad night (1004)
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(208): View more from Idaho

this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"

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(208): this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin" http://tfl.nu/odvv

Replies (16) Good night (7791) Bad night (1011)
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(281): View more from Texas

seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout

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(281): seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout http://tfl.nu/w9k1

Replies (6) Good night (2470) Bad night (1258)
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(707): View more from California

My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her

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(707): My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her http://tfl.nu/qrm1

Replies (10) Good night (2189) Bad night (674)
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(810): View more from Michigan

RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.

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(810): RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it. http://tfl.nu/dncl

Replies (10) Good night (2382) Bad night (947)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.

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(701): From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend. http://tfl.nu/i20e

Replies (6) Good night (1856) Bad night (738)
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(587): View more from Alberta

Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.

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(587): Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear. http://tfl.nu/o88n

Replies (10) Good night (574) Bad night (1060)
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(315): View more from New York

A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos

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(315): A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos http://tfl.nu/8sxj

Replies (7) Good night (1942) Bad night (565)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties

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(203): i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies (1-203): you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties http://tfl.nu/44vj

Replies (5) Good night (1437) Bad night (403)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture

(410): View more from Maryland

dude you're not even a fucking science major

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(717): Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture (410): dude you're not even a fucking science major http://tfl.nu/vino

Replies (4) Good night (1133) Bad night (349)
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(716): View more from New York

it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.

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(716): it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality. http://tfl.nu/d5wl

Replies (7) Good night (823) Bad night (241)
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(361): View more from Texas

I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...

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(361): I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time... http://tfl.nu/xkbo

Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (267)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...

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(610): Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong... http://tfl.nu/0c42

Replies (0) Good night (580) Bad night (256)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.

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(919): Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut. http://tfl.nu/igax

Replies (6) Good night (305) Bad night (753)

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