I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
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i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
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Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.