i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
