Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
