It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
