yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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