It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
