How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
