I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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