Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
