My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
