My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
