i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
