would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
