You don't have asthma, your pregnant
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i think i just lost a toe
I have tasted many bathrooms
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize