dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
