Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
