Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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