Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
