Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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