Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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