It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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