Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
