This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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