i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
