why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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