I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
