If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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