She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
