Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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