can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
