Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I think my moral compass just broke
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