IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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