were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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