Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
