I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
