yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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